Ok, so I want to start this post by saying how awesome my parents are as Grandparents. We are genuinely and authentically so thankful for the time my parents spend with our kids. Kyle and I decided early on to be really open-handed with the "spoiling". We know that a big part of that for my parents is how they express their love for our kids and so we tend to welcome it.
My parents are also pretty on-board with Babywise and our schedule. I remember when I was pregnant with Laura Kate, and was talking to my mom about using the Babywise method, she said something along the lines of "That sounds great, but we'll just see how things turn out when she's here". Well, after seeing ALL the benefits and how awesome of a sleeper LK was, my mom became one of the biggest advocates for Babywise. She bought all of the books and recommends this method to her clients all the time (She's a therapist).
When it comes to my kids schedule, as a whole, my parents really respect it and they respect the decisions that Kyle and I make as parents. But we want them to be able to "spoil" our kids with some special privileges that they don't always get to have when we are on a normal routine. (My own Granny called it "Granny Dispensations".)The relational benefits of this have always out-weighed any kind of schedule alterations. Also, it is really hard for both of my parents to listen to a baby cry. Often my mom would say... "can I just go get him????". A lot of times I would say ok. (psssst.... just a reminder, using the Babywise system doesn't have to mean you let your babies Cry It Out... I wrote a whole post about this that you can check out here: Babywise and Cry It Out (Or Don't))
This all plays out a little differently now that we live in the same town as them and we have more frequent, shorter time frames when they keep our kids vs. when we didn't live in the same town and the time stretches would be longer. The last long stretch where my parents kept my kids was for our Anniversary trip to Jamaica (Hallelujah for parents so willing to keep our kids for us while we were away!).
All of this to say, when there are longer stretches, we end up having to have what I affectionately refer to as "Grammy Detox" where we get back to our regular schedules and routines after our kids have had a week of "dispensations".
The main thing we do during Detox week (or weeks, because let's be real, it can take a MINUTE to get back on track!), it stick really strictly to our schedule. More strictly that would necessarily on a regular basis. We try to be to-the-minute for bedtimes and meals (or feedings when I was still nursing) to be able to get back on track as much as possible. For that week it might mean we say no to other obligations to prioritize getting back on track.
Because attitudes from my kids are the biggest issue we face, it often means being very very focused on consistency in discipline. Again, more than the usual. For just a short time period, it often requires that we be more strict than normal.
"They" (have we ever figured out who "they" are?) say that it takes 2 days per every 1 that your kids are out of routine to get back into it. I honestly can't remember who told me that, but I think it has been true in our experience. Knowing this helps me prepare ahead of time when we plan trips and extended time with Grandparents.
So what's your experience? How do you get back on track after your kids have had periods of "spoiling"?
The Ladies with the Babywise Friendly Blog Network are all writing on the topic of "Babywise Disruptions" today. Be sure and check out each of their blogs for tips on how to handle disruptions to your regular routine.
Christine Keys - "3 Ways To Keep Your Baby Happy In Church"
The Journey of Parenthood - "Babywise Disruption: Handling the Wonder Weeks"
Let's Be Brave - "Tips For Traveling With a Baby"
Mamas Organized Chaos - "Toddler Sleep Disruptions During a Family Crisis"
Team Cartwright - "How To Handle Schedule Shakeups"
Wondering what in the world the Babywise Friendly Blog Network is? Check out this post for all the detals: Getting to know the BFBN.
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